Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Weird radio jingle from the past

Every city in America has it's own unique brand of entertainment: the local commercial. The best among them are truly unforgettable. One radio jingle in particular has stuck with me since I was very young. I've sought audio files of this commercial for years without success, even going so far as to contact the local radio stations of the day to see if they have an old cart of it lying around. No luck.

While I can't recreate the magic of hearing this commercial, I can, to the best of my recollection, provide a transcript of it, so that future generations might appreciate its brilliance.

I give you The Starn's Has Song.

(Guy, spoken) Hey kids, want to sing the Starn's Has song?

(Kids, spoken) Yeah!

(Guy, spoken) Okay, when I wiggle my nose, you sing, "Starn's Has." Ready? I'll take the first one.

(Guy, singing) Starn's has big boneless hams (spoken) Your turn.

(Kids, singing) Starn's has

(Guy, singing) Orange juice in cans

(Kids, singing) Starn's has

(Guy, singing) Sandwich bags and Corn Flakes, icing for your cupcakes

(Kids, singing) Hot dogs and hamburgers, too!

(Guy, singing) And big red apples for you.

Needless to say, this was the butt of many a crass, sophmoric gag. Please feel free to make your own below! Corrections are also welcome.

1 comment:

Moose said...

Ah, South Jersey. Thanks for bringing back the memories. That's the most complete transcript I have yet to see of the Starns jingle. I haven't been able to find audio of it either. The Can-can song is on Youtube though.